5 Absolutely Hilarious Drunk Jokes

A couple pulled over by a state trooper



The man gave her a dirty look.


“I am also going to give you a ticket for a broken headlight.” The trooper said.


The man said, “What broken headlight? I don’t know what broken headlight you are talking about!”


The wife said, “Come on Jon, you’ve known about the broken headlight for three weeks.”


The man again gave her a dirty look.


The trooper said, “I’m also going to give you a ticket for not wearing a seat belt.”


“Officer I took it off when I saw you walking up to my car.”


The wife spoke up again, “Jon, you never wear your seat belt.”


The man turned to his wife and yelled, “Keep your mouth shut!”


The trooper looked at the woman and asked, “Mam, does he always talk to you this way?”


The wife said, “No officer, only when he’s drunk.”